This Wasn’t The Plan
How to care for yourself, your relationships and your mindset while parenting a neurodivergent child.
Most parents carry an idea — often unspoken — of how parenting will unfold.
It might be busy.
It might be tiring.
But there’s usually an assumption that the systems will mostly fit, that school will more or less work, and that love will be enough.
And then you realise your child is neurodivergent — and everything shifts.
The parenting advice doesn’t quite apply.
The systems feel mismatched or hard to navigate.
The emotional load is heavier than expected.
Alongside deep love, there can be grief — quiet, complicated, and hard to talk about.
This wasn’t the plan.
But it is your life.
And you deserve support that actually fits it.
Who this resource is for…
This Wasn’t The Plan is for parents raising neurodivergent children.
It’s about:
Making sense of the emotional impact of diagnosis, difference, or gradual realisation.
Naming the grief that can exist alongside fierce love and pride.
Parenting well without burning yourself out trying to do everything “right”.
Letting go of comparison, pressure, and unrealistic expectations.
Responding well to the relationship and family impact of parenting neurodivergence.
Finding steadiness — for yourself, not just your child.
It’s for the parents who are feeling
Exhausted navigating the relentless challenges of daily life.
Guilty for the times they resent their child’s impact on their life and family.
Deeply devoted and deeply tired.
If you’ve ever thought:
“I love my child — but I didn’t expect it to be this hard”
You’re not alone. And you’re not failing.
This work is not about fixing your child.
And it’s not about pretending this journey is always inspiring or uplifting.
It’s about honest parenting, sustainable care, and compassion — for your child and for you.
If you’d prefer to listen
Some people like to get a sense of my approach by listening first.
There are two episodes on parenting neurodivergent children within the Feel Better podcast.
They touch on:
What parenting neurodivergent children has looked like in our family.
The emotional adjustments that often go unnamed.
The lessons I’ve learnt about parenting neurodivergent kids - from my professional and family experience.
Many parents listen to see whether my voice and perspective feel like a good fit, then come back here when it’s useful.
Start here: a free section from the guide
If you’d like to get a feel for the resource before committing to anything, you’re welcome to start here.
You can download a full section from This Wasn’t The Plan — not a summary or a teaser, but a complete piece of the guide.
The Comparison Trap — And How To Step Out Of It
This section explores:
why comparison hits so hard when you’re raising neurodivergent children
why it’s not something you can simply “stop doing”
how to move from self-judgement toward compassion — for yourself and your child
how to redefine thriving in a way that actually fits your family
Many parents tell me this section alone helped them feel less alone, less broken, and more grounded in the reality they’re living.
→ Download a full section of the guide
(No pressure. No follow-up sales pitch)
A note from Charlotte
I created This Wasn’t The Plan from both professional practice and lived experience.
Alongside my work as a counsellor, I’m a parent raising neurodivergent children, in a household where neurodivergence shapes how we live, parent, and care for one another.
I’ve sat with many parents who love their children fiercely — and feel quietly undone by how hard parenting has become. Parents who are doing everything they can, yet still feel like they’re falling short.
This work exists to name a gentler truth:
Parenting neurodivergent children often asks more of you.
Grief and gratitude can sit side by side.
And you deserve care too.
You don’t need to have it all figured out.
You just need somewhere that understands what you’re carrying.