Ep 97: Ask Charlotte - How to feel good enough, accept yourself, and put yourself first
By Charlotte Cummings | Feel Better Podcast
When I was little, I’d go straight to the Agony Aunt pages in my mum’s Women’s Day. Now I’m a counsellor with 20 years’ experience, answering your real-life questions every fortnight in Ask Charlotte. Today’s theme — again, by popular demand — is your relationship with yourself. Three big questions, lots of practical answers.
Want to submit a question? Drop it in my Instagram Stories every Tuesday, or ask anonymously via my Instagram bio, the show notes, or charlottecummings.nz.
1) How do I make peace with my weaknesses, faults and failures?
Many of us look back with hindsight and feel shame, regret, or embarrassment. We outgrow old versions of ourselves, wish we’d chosen differently, or cringe at who we were. Here’s how to bring compassion and closure.
Understand the “why”
Map what was happening at the time:
What did I believe about myself?
What supports were missing?
What stressors or vulnerabilities were present?
Compassion follows understanding — and understanding helps you stop repeating patterns.
Capture the lessons (end the rumination loop)
Your brain replays mistakes to protect you. Write a list: “What I learned from this is…”
Next time the loop starts, remind yourself: I’ve squeezed the goodness out of this. Reflection done.
Try the photo exercise
Find a photo of yourself from that era. Sit with it. Notice the eyes, the context, the pain. Offer that past self forgiveness, warmth and love. This simple practice can unlock compassion.
List strengths and weaknesses — in black and white
No one is great at everything. Put both lists side by side. Let the picture stand: your weaknesses exist alongside your strengths — not instead of them.
Why strengths matter most
From decades of Gallup research (the origin of CliftonStrengths): people become happier, more productive and more successful by investing in strengths, not by sanding down every weakness.
Mitigate weaknesses pragmatically: new strategies, support, outsourcing, tools.
Maximise strengths for quality of life and impact.
Use a better self-question
Swap performance-management thoughts for: “What do I want more of?”
Future-focused, hopeful, and actionable.
Permission to be human
We connect through humanness, not perfection. I’ve forgotten important commitments; I’ve shoved mess into a cupboard before guests arrived. People aren’t put off by your imperfections — they’re reassured. Think of those you love most: you value their strengths and you tolerate (even smile at) their quirks. Offer yourself the same stance.
2) How do I feel good enough?
This is a core issue for so many: Am I worthy as I am? Do I belong without earning it? You can build this — it’s a practice, not a personality trait.
Make “liking yourself” a task
Create daily/weekly actions:
End-of-day micro-audit: “Where did I show up well today?”
Share wins with a trusted friend or manager.
Journal on the origin of your “not enough” story and the evidence against it.
Change the story you tell
From narrative therapy: language shapes identity.
Not: “I’m someone who always feels inadequate.”
Try: “I’m learning to see my value and to walk into rooms believing I belong.”
Surround yourself with the beliefs you’re building
As a young adult I plastered my walls with statements I wanted to believe. Corny? Maybe. Effective? Absolutely. Expose your brain to the new message often.
Find worth beyond performance
If work and output vanished tomorrow, what remains? Relationships, character, presence, humour, kindness, wisdom — the you beneath doing. Explore your philosophical or spiritual footing if helpful: Why do human lives have value? Why do I have a right to be here?
Make your own cake (and let others bring icing)
Compliments are lovely icing, not the cake. Build your own solid base of self-regard; let others’ words sweeten — but not sustain — it.
Stop outsourcing your worth
If others decide your value, they can snatch it away. Reclaim authorship: My good-enoughness is mine to make and keep. Seek stories of people who rebuilt self-worth — proof that the path is walkable.
3) How do I put myself first?
Common, especially in caregiving seasons. The work begins with clarity, then skills, then structure.
Know what you actually want
List desires, preferences, hobbies, needs. Define your goals and reverse-engineer: what “putting me first” steps get me there this month?
Do it for you
Not just “so I can keep serving others.” You are a person who needs oxygen because your life matters, full stop. Write a short “why I look after me” statement.
Build negotiation & boundary skills
If advocating for yourself is hard, skill up. (See my episode on Boundaries & Pushbacks.) Practise phrases like:
“I’m happy to do X. First, I need Y.”
“I can’t do that this week; I can do A or B.”
Tackle the unbearable feeling
Often the blocker isn’t logistics — it’s emotion: fear of disappointing, being judged, feeling like a failure or selfish. Name your unbearable feeling and do the therapeutic work to increase your tolerance.
Create rhythms (ask once)
Relying on willpower is fragile. Set repeatable structures:
A standing exercise slot.
Grandparents every second Saturday afternoon.
A recurring friend date.
Ask once, repeat often.
Drop the “earn it first” rule
Notice and challenge bargains like “I can go to the gym after I finish everything.” Write down your rules; cross out the ones that keep you last.
Make it cultural in your relationship
Aim for both partners to get solo time, friendship time and hobby time. Champion each other’s self-care as a norm, not a favour.
Believe you’re worth it
This rests on self-kindness and self-value. Ask: What would I need to believe about myself to put me first — and how will I practise that belief this week?
Making peace with your past, building a sturdy sense of “good enough”, and putting yourself first are learnable, repeatable skills. Start small, keep it practical, and let evidence stack up that you can change how you relate to you.
Want your question answered? Submit via Instagram Stories on Tuesdays, the show notes, or charlottecummings.nz.
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Thanks for joining me for this episode of Ask Charlotte, part of the Feel Better podcast. Well, welcome along to this episode of Ask Charlotte.
This is a second episode on the same theme as the last episode, which is all about relationship with yourself. I've got three fantastic questions to cover today, and it's really been interesting to hear what you want to know when it comes to this theme, because the questions that have been raised, they just really make my heart go out to people, in terms of what people are struggling with, and the realities of how our relationship with ourself really matters. So well done on joining me for this episode, and spending a little bit of time thinking about your relationship with yourself.
I'm going to dive into the questions now, and the first one is, how do I make peace with my weaknesses, my faults, and my failures? And oh, I read this and I went, gosh, I want to know what was going on for this person. But I think the reality is that this is something that so many people struggle with, that sense that we all have lived lives up until the point that we're currently at, and when we look back over time, we see things with the benefit of hindsight, and think, gosh, I shouldn't have done that, or maybe even I'm really embarrassed or ashamed of something, or we outgrow versions of ourselves and become someone quite new and different, and maybe unrecognizable. We have regrets about how we spent our time, or who we spent our time with, how we conducted ourselves, how we behaved.
It can be really complicated. So what I want to do today is give you some ideas when it comes to how you think about your past, yourself, who you are, your pitfalls, and how you make peace with those things. One of the key things, particularly if you're thinking about past mistakes or things that you're not proud of in your past, is to bring some understanding around why you did those things.
What was it that was going on for you? And building that sense of insight into, I did those things because of this belief I had about myself, or because of this thing that I was struggling with, or because I really didn't have enough support around whatever it was that was going on. So really allowing yourself to think compassionately about why did that thing happen? And when we've got a clear sense of why something happened, that can allow us to reflect on, what it was that we have learned through that experience. Now, one of the reasons why our brains ruminate, so go around and around the same things, is because they're trying to protect us.
They're trying to stop us from going back to a place that we don't want to be, that isn't consistent with who we are, or that's getting in the way of our future and our goals. So I think one of the best things you can do if you have got regrets, if you've got stuff that you're needing to make peace with, is write down what it is that you have learned. So that the next time your brain does that ruminating thing where it's going over and over, dishing up some story or situation, scenario over and over again for you to think about, is write that list of what I've learned.
So you can say to yourself, I've actually already covered this. I've already squeezed the goodness out of the situation. I've already done my reflection around this.
There actually isn't anything productive for me to reflect on around this anymore. I've done that and that's actually over now. So capturing the lessons can be a really, really helpful thing if you're wanting to make peace with your past.
The other thing I would suggest, and sometimes this sounds a little bit woo-woo to some people, but if you have got a version of yourself historically that was a person's kind of unrecognizable now or where there was some painful stuff going on, it can be really helpful to get a photo of yourself in that stage and to sit with that photo, to reflect on that person and connect with them, to forgive them, to send your own kind of sense of love back to that person, to be compassionate towards them, to see them in a different light in a way that is healing. Looking at that old photo can sometimes help unlock that sense of compassion. So if you can find a photo of yourself from that stage or a photo of yourself with that person or whatever it was, sometimes you can see it in your eyes, what was going on for you at that time.
And it can be really nice to access that sense of healing and compassion through looking at a photo. The other thing I think pragmatically can be really helpful is to write a list of your strengths and your weaknesses. Now the reality for all of us are we can't be great at everything and we all have things that we're really good at and things that we struggle with.
They might be attributes and strengths that you can talk about with like good strength sounding names or they might be just like describing things that you find challenging like being tidy or putting things away. They might be really practical little things. And I didn't just choose that example because it's relevant for myself.
But I think if we can think about our strengths and weaknesses in a black and white way and list those things out, we can kind of let that lie however it falls. Look, I might not be very good at putting my stuff away, but I am really good at these things. I'm really good at achieving a lot.
I'm really good at holding hope for the future. I'm really good at being creative about how things could be. So seeing those weaknesses in the context of your strengths can be really helpful.
Now, I have done over 400 coaching sessions with people using the Clifton Strengths Finder coaching model, and this is a tool that is so profound when it comes to understanding our strengths. Even it's quite helpful when it comes to understanding our weaknesses as well. But the thing I like about this is Clifton Strengths came from a university in the States called Gallup.
And back in the day before there was much social media around and when our media kind of was quite static, there were these things called Gallup polls. So Gallup would poll the world and they would ask a question across a whole range of different countries and get the world's answer on a particular topic. And there was a Gallup poll that looked at what makes people happy, successful and productive.
Is it getting better at the things that they are bad at or excelling at the things that they are already good at? And you know the answer because this is where strengths came from. Back at that time, there was a real focus on performance managing, on people trying to be well-rounded and good at a lot of different things. And it was a time when the rudder really shifted to go, actually, that doesn't make people happier.
That doesn't make them more successful. It doesn't make them more productive. They just become average at everything.
And we know that the more that you invest in your strengths, the happier you will be, the more successful you will be and the more productive you will be. So your weaknesses are really important to be aware of. And sometimes there are things we need to do to mitigate or manage those things, sometimes even outsourcing some of those things, asking for support, finding new strategies around those things that are our weaknesses.
But our more important thing for the quality of our lives and our relationships is focusing on the things that we are already good at, focusing on our strengths. So just remember, no one's life really ever got any better by focusing on their weaknesses. This is not a productive thing for you to spend your time on.
Think about those strengths. Be aware of the weaknesses. Be pragmatic about what it is you might need to put in place to manage those weaknesses a little bit differently for the benefit of your life and the other people around you.
But most of your focus, if you want your life to be better, needs to be on your strengths. Another hack that I have as someone who has a history of having been quite hard on myself is I found this question that I just absolutely love that gets me out of performance managing myself. And it's this.
What do I want more of? So instead of thinking about what I've done badly or how I let someone down or, gosh, just something that's feeling really awful for me, I think about what do I want more of? What do I want more of going forward? It's a really nice future focused question that routes my thinking way more positively and is hopeful and something that I can get behind rather than trying to avoid something that I don't want to do. I really need to be better in that. It's not going to help me to berate myself about what I want to do less of, what I want to turn down, what I want to stop in my life.
It is way more motivating for me to think about what do I want more of? What do I want more of in my parenting and how I show up with my clients and my relationship and my friendships? What is it that I want more of? What am I finding life giving? Where am I contributing best? And getting you thinking about that, that question, what I want more of, is a really easy way into that thinking. The other thing, just as a reminder, is we don't all need to be good at everything. We are interconnected beings and it is absolutely okay to rely on other people for things, to need help from other people, to ask a friend for something because we go, I just really struggle with this.
Please, can you help me organize this part of my life? Or I just really need a sounding board on this because this thing doesn't come naturally to me. Or can you come over and sit on my bed because I need to sort my wardrobe out? Or whatever it is that you need to do, think about actually how can I draw someone into this who would really, really love this or who would benefit from this or enjoy this in some way? Or it's them operating in their strengths if they're doing this thing alongside me. So just as a reminder, you don't have to be good at everything.
And one of the great things about the modern world that we live in now is there are people offering all sorts of services to get around things that we struggle with. Whether that's meal prepping services or home organizing services or a cleaner or whatever it is that helps you manage your life differently, there are AI tools, there are things that can help you manage your calendar, there are task management pieces of software. There are lots of hacks that are out there now that can help you get around the things that you might struggle with.
So more and more over time, those things that you find difficult should be able to become less relevant. I remember once in a work setting, there was a situation where I had completely forgotten about something. There were 30 people waiting for me to deliver a presentation.
I'd been asked to show up to a particular meeting and I just plain forgot. And I was so apologetic about this when I realized that I was meant to be somewhere that I hadn't even shown up to. And the person had the most beautiful response to me.
They said, I'm so glad you're not a robot. You're really good at so many things. And if you were a robot who did everything perfectly and always showed up everywhere with military precision, that wouldn't be something any of us would enjoy.
And actually, do you know what? You're someone that people look at often and think, oh, she's got it all together. And like sometimes that's intimidating. It's really nice for people to know that you're a human being.
So I loved that reminder of actually, even when we sometimes let people down, even when our weaknesses show up in some way, or we're overwhelmed and we've forgotten something, it can actually be a really, really nice reminder of our humanity. Someone came over to my house one time and complimented me on how tiny it was. And I went, you need to come with me and see this cupboard.
I just shoved all of the crap into this cupboard. And I want you to see this cupboard because I want you to feel better about your life and your house, because this is just what I did for show this morning. I spent half an hour throwing all these things in this cupboard.
Don't you dare think that I'm any better than you. Sometimes showing up and being there in our weaknesses and sharing the things that are struggles for us or difficulties for us is really endearing and builds connection with other people. That matters way more than being a perfect person.
I encourage you to think about the people that you love the most. Are they perfect or are they people that have things that they're amazing at that you enjoy and some things that they're not so amazing at that don't particularly bother you? The way that other people relate to you is they will enjoy your strengths and they won't mind about your weaknesses. So it's time that you catch up on that idea too.
Okay. So onto our next question. And I love that this question came up.
How do I feel good enough? Now, so often when I'm counselling clients, I recognise that this is a core issue. People being able to hold on to the sense that they're a valuable human being, that they're enough as they are, that people love them, that they don't have to be better or shinier or more perfect to be loved and good enough and liked. They don't need to just keep trying harder to earn their place.
This is something that comes through with so many counselling clients. So I want to remind you here that liking yourself is actually a task and it is something that takes work. I think where so many people go wrong on this front is that we think that you're either a person who likes yourself or you don't.
Like this is this magical process that some people are just born with this and others aren't. That if you haven't liked yourself historically, that the future is going to be more of the past. And that is absolutely not true.
Learning to like yourself can be something that you make a task, that you break down into particular steps, that you take some action around. It doesn't have to be this mythical, magical thing in the distance. So think about what can I do to like myself more, to feel that I am good enough? What are some ideas that connect with my life and my challenges right now that can help me build a sense of liking myself more? Is it at the end of the day thinking about where I showed up in ways that I was proud of or what I did well during that day? Is that learning to go and share with my boss when I did something that I'm proud of or messaging my friend to say, hey, I just want you to notice this thing that was an achievement for me within this day? Is it doing some journaling around your own worth, around where these ideas that you weren't good enough came from, or thinking about what you tell yourself when it comes to why you're not good enough? You can absolutely make this a task and something that you work hard on.
It is not something that you either have or you don't have. This is something that you can build. I come from a background in my therapeutic work with people where I work a lot from a narrative therapy perspective.
And narrative therapy is all about the stories that we tell ourselves about ourselves, about our lives, about our relationships with other people. And I think it's really important if you're someone who wants to change something, that you stop talking about yourself in particular ways. So if you're constantly saying, you know, I just don't like myself or I just constantly feel like I'm inadequate or you've got those messages and those stories that are rolling around, don't describe yourself as, I am this person, this is how I am, this is what I am like.
Talk about yourself as, I'm a person who's learning to, I'm a person who's learning to see my value, I'm a person who's learning to show up in spaces and feel like I belong. I'm working on whatever it is that is your thing that you're working on. I think if you describe yourself in a way that has this fixed identity, where I'm someone who struggles with this or I'm just a this, even we hear it with things like I'm a perfectionist, well, I'm someone who's working on recovering from this tendency towards holding perfection as my ideal.
I'm working on becoming someone who walks into a room already believing I'm good enough. So be really careful about your language and how you describe yourself and how you think about who you are in the world. I really struggled with this as a young adult.
I was a people pleaser. I was constantly living my life for other people. I would try way too hard in doing things for other people and I really didn't have a strong sense of my own worth.
Well, I worked out what it was that I needed to believe and I marinated in that to the point that I had giant posters around my room with quotes, with beliefs that I wanted to have, that I surrounded myself with literally in a physical sense every day. I remember actually my mum admitting to me one day that she used to take her friends into my bedroom to show them what it was I had on the walls. And at the time I was mortified and embarrassed, but now I'm actually really secretly proud of that.
That if there are things that you want to believe about yourself, you do need to place those things around you in a way where your brain is exposed to those new beliefs regularly. So what is it that you want to believe and feel about yourself and how are you going to surround yourself with that kind of messaging? Now, that is not just about affirmations. That is about feeling fully persuaded of your worth.
And if you are not fully persuaded that you are a valuable human being, you need to work out why you are a valuable human being. And none of this can be about your performance. I have said to a client before, imagine you are in a terrible accident, you become a tetraplegic, the rest of your life you're really reliant on other people to do lots of things for you and your work is basically never going to look the same.
Where's your value going to come from in that situation? What have you got to hold on to about your worth and why you're here and your purpose? They go, I've got nothing. And that's the place that we build from. If we strip away your achievements and you've just got your relationships and your character and your own kind of attributes and dispositions that you can contribute to people around you, what is it that you hold on to in terms of your value that is beyond performance? Now, sometimes people need quite a philosophical answer when it comes to this.
Why are you on this earth? Why do human lives matter? Sometimes we need to dip into that more spiritual sense of our answer to this question to believe that we've got enough. Sometimes that's about a belief in a higher power, that we've come about at this particular time in human history for a reason, that this is our time, that we're a spirit who's learning in this life. Whatever it is that you believe, you probably need to come up with some answers on this front that help you build that sense of, I have a right to be here.
And I'm a person of value. One of the other key things when it comes to feeling good enough is remembering that you've got to make your own cake. This is an analogy I use a lot with clients.
I absolutely get it that other people saying nice things to you, telling you that you're valuable and great and wonderful or meaningful or whatever it is, is really lovely. And it's one of the nicest things about human lives and our relationships with other people. But you've got to make your own cake.
Imagine if you just sat down and ate a bowl of icing. You would feel really, really sick. But if you think about cake, like cake and icing are delicious.
There's that little layer on the top that is like really extra sweet and lovely. But it's nice because we also have the cake with it. We need to think about that when it comes to our own views of ourselves and our self-esteem.
You've still got to make the cake. Other people's lovely comments can be the icing on the top. But you need to make the cake when it comes to your self-esteem and your views around yourself.
The other key challenge, if you're wanting to feel good enough, if you're wanting to feel better about who you are, is you have to stop putting your worth and value into other people's hands. If you're giving other people the ability to tell you whether you're valuable or not, if you're constantly putting that on the line, then other people have the power to take that away. They have the power to decide whether you're good enough or not, whether what you did in that moment met their expectations or not.
And you're really going to have to take a step back from that and realise that you feeling good enough is entirely within your own control and within your hands and not theirs. So have a think about your life. In what ways are you giving up your power? Are you letting other people describe and determine who you are? In what ways are you relying on other people to tell you that you are good enough? And where might there need to be some change on that front? I absolutely believe that it is possible that we can radically change our relationship with ourselves.
And there are many people that have walked this path before you who haven't had a good relationship with themselves, who had low self-worth, who haven't believed they're good enough, who have managed to turn that around. I encourage you to go and read those stories, find those people, let yourself absorb this idea that actually you don't have to keep walking around feeling like you're not okay and you're not enough. Don't wait on the feelings as if it's something that is going to happen overnight.
Do the work of building your own sense of your worth. Right. And the last question for this episode is how do I put myself first? What an amazing question and something that so many people will find a challenge at different points and particularly in different seasons of their life.
So I think one of the first things we need to think about when it comes to putting ourselves first is that for so many people, they actually just don't know what they want. They don't know their desires, their preferences. They lose touch with their hobbies and interests.
So it is really important if you're struggling to put yourself first, that you take some time to take stock of what is it that you actually want? What is it that you enjoy? What is it that it looks like when it comes to you putting yourself first? That might be advocating for yourself more. That might be negotiating or having your voice heard. That might be taking time for yourself.
Whatever it looks like, you first need to know what you want. And connected with that is knowing what your goals are. Where are you heading in life? What is it that you want to achieve and be and enjoy? And then think backwards about what do I need to do now to put myself first so that I can be and become that person? If you don't know where you're going, it is pretty hard to get there.
And there usually has to be a lot of putting yourself first on the journey to become the person that you want to be and have the kind of life that you want to have. So think about what are your goals? What are your desires? What is it that you want? The other thing I think we have got wrong as a society is we've talked heaps about how you need to look after yourself so you can look after other people. It is a pet peeve of mine, that analogy we have around you've got to put your own oxygen mask on first before you help other people put their oxygen mask on.
Well, I'm sorry, but first you've got to believe that you're a person and you need oxygen and you've got to have some ideas around your own value that motivate you to look after yourself for yourself. Because what you want out of your life actually matters too. It's not all just about looking after yourself so that you can more adequately look after other people.
You need to have a sense of purpose to this. So why is it important for you to look after yourself? You're going to need to have an individual answer to that. Why does that matter? The other thing for some people is they need greater negotiation skills.
If you haven't listened to my episode on boundaries and pushbacks, I really encourage you to go and have a listen to that. But there is a real gap when it comes to negotiation skills. We often go along with things that other people want way too easily and we don't actually have the functional skills in relationships or in communicating with others that allow us to negotiate what we want, that allow us to put things forward or hear what someone else is saying and go, I'm really happy to do that.
I'm just wondering if first I can do this or I'm wondering if alongside that this is something that we can accommodate. Finding those ways to negotiate better sometimes is a real gap in terms of people's skills. So if you're struggling to put yourself first and you need to work on your negotiation skills, go and do that work so that in the moment when it's crunch time and you're needing to advocate for yourself or you're needing to make that space, you've got the ability to do that in the moments where it matters.
One of the other key barriers to putting yourself first is your unbearable feeling. One of my key concepts that I hang a lot on when it comes to counselling, if you haven't listened to the unbearable feelings episode, go back and have a listen to that. It's my top episode of all time.
But our unbearable feeling is the thing that often stands between us and looking after ourselves. So if it is unbearable for you to disappoint others or to be perceived as a failure in their eyes or to feel unheard or whatever it is, then you are going to maintain the sense of actually it's too hard to feel those feelings and I can't do this. This might be your block and your barrier.
So think about what is it that's going on that is the emotional barrier to putting yourself first. And it's probably time to do the work on that if you really want to see some change in the space. The other thing I'm a big fan of is scheduling and routine and rhythms that help us put ourselves first.
One of the things I talk about with counselling clients often if they're in a relationship and they're like, oh, you know, we want to do more date nights together, but like it's just it's tricky because we've got to organise babysitters and we've got to think of what we want to do. And it's just this kind of it's just this big task. I say, well, it's way easier to set something up and ask for something once than it is to ask for something over and over again.
So asking, hey, grandparents, can you every fortnight on a Saturday afternoon come and look after the kids so we can go out for an early tea and we'll be home by this time? Like work out what it is that you want and find out if there is a way that you can ask for it once and set up some rhythm and routine around that or instead of leaving your exercise to chance for the week, what is the plan around where that fits in and how you structure that and make that fit into your week? So set up the routines that help you to go on autopilot when it comes to putting yourself first. A key barrier that I hear from a lot of people about putting themselves first is that they have to work for it. They have to earn it and deserve it before they do the thing that they want to do.
So I can't go to the gym until this is done or I can't do that piece of study until this has happened. Actually, so often we have these delays where we have to have the sense of earning it, of everything being in a row before we're able to take the plunge of doing that thing. And often that's a barrier to putting ourselves first.
So think about what do you do in terms of that bargaining with yourself of I can't do this until this is done or I don't deserve this until this has happened. Get really clear on that. Write it down so you can see it in black and white terms.
I think it is super helpful if you're in a relationship too, to build a culture where you both put yourselves first, where you both have time out on your own, where you both have time to nurture your friendships or pursue your hobbies or do the things you need to do to stay healthy. So building that culture within your relationship where that's not a battle, where you both allow yourselves to have that time and support one another to do the things you need to do and to feel really free about that is something that can really help when it comes to this. And don't forget, if you're going to put yourself first, you have to believe you're worth it.
You have to talk to yourself in a kind and nice way and think that you are someone whose life matters, who is good enough, who's valuable and deserves to be put first. You're worth the space that you take up in this world. You're worth the oxygen that you breathe in.
And thinking about yourself in a way that goes, I'm actually a person of worth, is a really foundational thing if you're going to learn to put yourself first. So if that's an area that needs some work, I encourage you to do some reflection on, what is it that I would need to believe about myself if I was going to put myself first? I love your questions. Thank you so much for sending me the questions to cover in this episode.
This podcast is here for you, and I love nothing more than being able to speak right directly to something that you are struggling with. So thank you so much for jumping on board with Ask Charlotte. It is a really fun little series, and I love knowing that what I prepare for you is going to speak at least into one person's life.
And so often people ask questions and I think, I know there are so many people who are going to want to listen to this. So thank you so much for joining me in this. It wouldn't be what it is without you.
And I'm so grateful to have this space to hang out with you, to chat about life and to hopefully offer some things that are helpful along the way. So thanks for your questions in this episode.
