Ep 118: You Can’t Hate Yourself Into Change
By Charlotte Cummings | Feel Better Podcast
Why Self-Criticism Makes Change Harder (Not Easier)
If you’ve ever tried to motivate yourself by being hard on yourself, you’re not alone.
In fact, it’s something I see all the time in my counselling work. And if I’m honest, it’s something I have to watch in my own life too.
Many of us believe that the way to change is to be tough on ourselves.
We think things like:
“Why can’t I stick to anything?”
“I always fail at this.”
“I should be better than this by now.”
We try to shame, criticise, or pressure ourselves into doing better.
But here’s the problem:
Self-criticism might create short bursts of motivation — but it almost always sabotages lasting change.
Let’s talk about why.
The Hidden Problem With Self-Criticism
A lot of people believe they need to be harsh with themselves to change.
They think kindness towards themselves will make them lazy or complacent.
But research tells us the opposite.
When we approach change from a place of shame or self-judgement, we actually make it harder for our brains to do the very things that support change.
And this isn’t just about “being nicer to yourself”.
There’s neuroscience behind it.
What Self-Criticism Does In Your Brain
When you criticise yourself, your brain treats it as a threat.
That activates your fight-flight-freeze response — the same system designed to help you escape danger.
When this happens:
Your amygdala (the fear centre of the brain) becomes activated
Cortisol and stress hormones increase
Your nervous system shifts into protection mode
And when your brain believes you’re under threat, it prioritises survival, not growth.
Which means:
Emotional regulation decreases
Problem-solving becomes harder
Clear thinking shuts down
Unfortunately, those are exactly the skills we need when we’re trying to make meaningful changes in our lives.
So the very strategy people use to motivate themselves — harsh self-criticism — actually blocks the brain processes required for change.
Why We Learned To Be Hard On Ourselves
Many people in their 30s, 40s and 50s grew up with fairly tough messages about improvement.
You may have heard things like:
“Pull your socks up.”
“Try harder.”
“You should know better.”
This isn’t about blaming parents. Most people did the best they could with the tools they had.
But culturally, we’ve shifted.
We now understand much more about strength-based approaches, emotional development, and how people actually grow.
Punishment and shame rarely create lasting change.
Encouragement, reflection, and connection do.
Which means some of us are now doing a bit of unlearning.
Two Very Different Ways To Motivate Change
Let’s use a common example: getting into a regular exercise routine.
One approach might sound like this:
“I’ve put on weight. I’m so lazy. I need to fix this. I should be fitter than this.”
This motivation is driven by shame and comparison.
Now compare that with a different inner dialogue:
“I want energy for the life I’m building.
I want to be healthy for my family.
Moving my body helps me feel strong and alive.”
Same behaviour.
Very different motivation.
The first approach activates threat.
The second activates values and care.
And the second one is far more likely to last.
What Happens When You Practice Self-Acceptance
When we speak to ourselves with kindness and acceptance, something different happens in the brain.
The prefrontal cortex becomes more active.
This is the part of the brain responsible for:
Problem solving
Reflection
Emotional regulation
Intentional decision making
In addition, kind self-talk can stimulate oxytocin, a hormone linked to safety, connection and trust.
In other words, when you approach change from self-acceptance rather than self-criticism, your brain becomes far better equipped to actually follow through.
The Self-Criticism Loop
Many people get stuck in a familiar cycle:
Set ambitious goals
Fall off track
Criticise themselves harshly
Feel overwhelmed or discouraged
Stop trying
Start again with even more self-criticism
Round and round it goes.
The issue isn’t lack of effort.
The issue is how the change process is being fuelled internally.
Three Skills To Interrupt Self-Critical Thinking
If self-criticism is something you struggle with, there are some simple but powerful steps you can take.
1. Name What’s Happening
The first step is simply noticing the self-critical voice.
You might say to yourself:
“Ah, there’s that harsh inner critic again.”
Sometimes people even give that voice a name.
The goal is awareness — recognising what’s happening instead of automatically believing the thought.
2. Normalise It
Self-critical thoughts are actually very human.
Our brains evolved to scan for problems and threats.
So rather than panicking about the thought, try acknowledging it:
“Of course this thought is showing up. That’s something my brain does.”
This removes the shame around the thinking itself.
3. Redirect Your Attention
Then ask a powerful question:
“What is my kind next step?”
This question shifts you from rumination to action — without the harshness.
It keeps you moving forward, but in a healthier way.
A Question That Can Change Your Perspective
Here’s another helpful reflection.
Ask yourself:
What would I say to a friend or a child in this situation?
Most people are naturally compassionate towards others.
They can be honest, clear, and supportive at the same time.
The challenge is learning to offer that same tone of care to ourselves.
Let Your Values Guide Your Change
One of the strongest motivators for lasting change is values.
Values answer the question:
Why does this change matter to me?
For example:
Wanting energy to enjoy life
Being present for family
Living with integrity
Being authentic in relationships
When behaviour change is connected to values, it becomes meaningful rather than punishing.
It becomes about building a life that reflects who you want to be.
A Powerful Question To Reflect On
If being kinder to yourself feels uncomfortable, ask yourself this:
What am I afraid would happen if I treated myself with more kindness?
Some common fears are:
“I’ll become lazy.”
“I’ll stop trying.”
“I’ll disappoint people.”
Understanding these fears can reveal what the self-criticism is trying to protect you from.
The Goal: A Kind and Honest Story
Self-acceptance doesn’t mean pretending everything is perfect.
We still need honesty and accountability.
But the goal is learning to tell ourselves a kind and accurate story.
Instead of:
“I messed everything up.”
Try:
“That didn’t go how I hoped.
Today was hard.
What would help tomorrow go better?”
Same honesty.
Very different tone.
And a much better foundation for change.
The Bottom Line
If you want lasting change, the most powerful place to start is self-acceptance.
Because when you feel safe with yourself:
your brain thinks more clearly
your emotions regulate more easily
and you’re far more capable of making intentional choices
Self-criticism triggers threat.
Self-acceptance creates growth.
If You’re Trying To Make Change Right Now
If there’s something in your life you’re trying to shift — a habit, a pattern, a relationship dynamic — know that you don’t have to bully yourself through the process.
You can pursue change with kindness and clarity.
If you’d like support with that process, I now work with clients through Change Therapy.
This approach combines the best of my counselling background with a coaching framework focused on reflection, support, and accountability.
Sometimes what people need most is someone external who can help them balance compassion with gentle challenge — and learn how to create that balance for themselves.
You can learn more about Change Therapy on my website.
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Well, welcome to today's episode.
I'm going to talk today about self-criticism and how that actually makes it harder to make any kind of changes that we want to make in our lives. Now, one of the reasons that I know that this is an issue is because this is an issue for me. And when I was prepping for this podcast, I thought there's some really timely reminders for me in this too.
But I hear this all the time from my counselling clients that actually they try and beat themselves up into the process of change. And they often set goals and have ambition and then they go, Oh, I'm so bad. Why couldn't I stick to that? I always fail at these things.
I'm not good enough. I can't keep to the changes that I'm trying to make. And so often when we reflect, their motivation for change is tied up in these ideas around not being good enough and needing to change from a really self-critical perspective.
So we have a bit of a problem when it comes to criticising our way into change, putting pressure on ourselves, believing we're too much of something or not enough of something else. And we try and put all of this shame and blame and pressure on ourselves. And that is what we use to try and motivate ourselves towards behaviour change.
Now, the small problem with that is that that is good for making some initial behaviour changes, but it is not good when it comes to keeping up those changes for the long term and actually managing to achieve some kind of growth or sustainable long term change. So we need to be able to find ways to do change, to motivate ourselves, to talk to ourselves in a manner where we can pursue change, but not from this real deficit, I am not good enough, self-critical perspective. So what I really want to do today is point out to you what self-criticism does in your brain and how this blocks you from achieving the kind of change that you want to achieve.
There has been some amazing research done around shame and blame and how we relate to ourselves when it comes to growing in life. And one of the really sad things is that a lot of people believe they have to be super tough on themselves if they want to achieve change. Now, the research and evidence suggests the very opposite.
Yes, we need to put in the work and we need to make effort if we're wanting to make changes in our life. But it doesn't have to be hard and it doesn't have to come from the perspective of punishment and blame, embarrassing ourselves, criticizing ourselves and coming from that real deficit mindset. So what I want to do today is really highlight this issue to you and show you how harmful being self-critical is if you're wanting to make changes in your life.
And then I'm going to talk about the opposite of that and how you approach change from a really self-accepting point of view. Now, I know that most of the listeners of my podcast are somewhere between the ages of 35 and 55. And for those of us who fall in that bracket, and you're super welcome here if you're outside of that bracket too, for those of us who fall in that bracket, we have probably been raised with some parenting styles that were pretty tough.
Now, none of that is to say we don't love our parents, they didn't do a really good job, they didn't do the best with what they had. But society is moving and changing when it comes to how children are parented, how we speak about growth and change and development. That we don't try and guilt people into change, we try and talk from a strengths-based perspective, we try and be super loving and encouraging to our children, we don't punish people into changing.
So there is a bit of a shift in how we parent our children versus how we were perhaps parented when it comes to needing to pull our socks up about something or being good enough in some kind of regard. That may or may not connect with you as something that could have been part of your past. But I think that that is important to point out in today's episode.
That for many of us, we have learnt this thing about criticising ourselves into change, about feeling like we're punishing ourselves when we haven't done something right, or feeling like we need to just try harder, pull our socks up and do better in life. Some of that has been schooled into us from our environments, rightly or wrongly, but it perhaps hasn't been that helpful to us. So there is a bit of unlearning that goes on here.
But it is super helpful as well to think about that background and where you kind of learnt this, where this came from. Even only over the last couple of decades have we moved to a strengths-focused approach in life. That actually life gets better when we learn to excel at the things that we're already good at.
Not life gets better when we focus on our weaknesses and try and get better at all of the things that we are bad at. We want to apply our strengths, we want to love ourselves into the process of change. And absolutely, at times in our lives, there are things that need to change.
If you think about health, for example, sometimes we are needing to make urgent changes for our wellbeing. Or if we've got something going on that we need to manage in our lives to perform better, perhaps in a work context, or we're needing to change our behaviour at home or in our relationships, sometimes it is very clear that we need to change and we've got to take that process of change seriously. I'm just suggesting today that your best bet to get to that change isn't to blame and criticise yourself, but it comes from learning to accept yourself and speak to yourself in a loving and encouraging way.
Now I want to remind you here as well of something really fundamental when it comes to our brains and our self-talk. And so often when I'm working with clients, I point out to them that they are actually in charge of what their brain is dishing to them. Now that doesn't mean that we can entirely control what our thoughts are or what comes up for us emotionally in certain scenarios.
But it does mean that we can take a step back and use some tools and strategies when our brain is being too harsh on us and we don't like it. You don't just have to stand there and take what your brain is dishing you, if it is not sounding like a supportive, encouraging best friend or loving parent. You don't actually have to live like that.
And there are some really good ways to interrupt those circuits, to break those patterns and to learn to speak to yourself in a much better and healthier way. So now I want to talk about what your brain does when you have self-critical thoughts. Now one of the things that you're probably aware of is this fight, flight or freeze mode that we have as human beings when there is some kind of threat.
Now we often think about that in terms of physical threat and how we've evolved as a species from having to run away from predators of some kind that could be hunting us. We have this way of responding to things that we feel are threatening our survival where we can avoid, shut down and freeze in some way, run away from the issue. Now when you do self-critical thinking, your brain actually treats that as a threat and it activates some really primal parts of you that raise your anxiety, that heighten your cortisol levels, that fire up your amygdala, the part of your brain that can flood you with emotions like fear.
That self-critical thinking does some things in your brain that are not actually what you want if you're wanting to achieve change. So your brain reads self-criticism just like any other threat and it can cause you to shut down, to be less emotionally regulated and to not be able to do good problem-solving and clear thinking. Now if you consider the process of making change, of course we want emotion regulation, clear thinking and problem-solving skills to be available to us.
But if you're approaching change from this self-critical perspective, then you're shutting down those very parts of your brain that you need to be able to make change. So I guess what I'm trying to point out to you here is that this is not just a case of talk nicer to yourself or be kinder and gentler on yourself because that's important and that's nice and fluffy. I'm actually trying to explain to you here that the neuroscience behind this is very clear when it comes to the impact that self-criticism has on our brain and on the very faculties that we need if we're wanting to make successful change.
So what we know is that that high level of self-criticism is very good at motivating us to take action, to avoid things, to do things differently for a really short period of time. But it does the opposite of leading us towards sustainable and long-term change. Now what you're probably doing at this point is thinking about your own life and thinking about where you're doing a high level of self-critical thinking in your life right now.
It is also that time of year when this episode comes out that you've likely set some goals for the beginning of the year and probably by now you've fallen off the wagon with some of those goals. And you might be beating yourself up about that because coming from that self-critical perspective means that you might have pushed yourself to go and join the gym or do something about your eating or make some kind of change to your morning routine. But the odds are that you've fallen away from some of those habits and the things that you're wanting to pursue for your health, your well-being, your lifestyle, the changes that you're trying to make have perhaps slipped.
And then comes all this next layer of thinking of I'm not good enough, I can't do this, there's something wrong with me, I'm falling behind in some way or I'm not as good as other people. And you can pretty quickly hear how that becomes a loop. That we do that and then that perpetuates this cycle of stopping, avoiding, freezing in some way only to then beat ourselves up again down the track for not being good enough and trying to make those changes again.
Getting back on and off the wagon as we go with the self-critical thinking that sets us up for unrealistic expectations. So let's take the example of getting into a good routine with going to the gym and think about the difference between approaching that from a harsh and a healthy perspective. There's one way of narrating that, that is I'm such a slob, I've put on weight, I need to get fitter, I desperately need to do something about my health, I'm not okay, I'm comparing myself to other people, I'm not enough, I'm not thin enough, I don't have enough muscles.
Whatever that looks and sounds like within your mind. There is the harsh way to motivate yourself to go to the gym or stick to some kind of exercise routine. And then there is the much healthier way where you look at actually I've got some values here around being around for my family, around having energy for the adventures that I want to have in life.
And so I'm going to go and do this because I want to be at my healthiest and feel my best so that I have the energy and vitality to connect with the people around me and enjoy this world that I live in. They are two very different approaches to going to the gym. And I think one of the reasons why people take the harsh approach is that they think if they take the softer, easier, self-accepting version of talking to themselves that they're not going to achieve the change that they want to achieve.
That that is somehow going to mean that they're soft in terms of their outcomes or results, but it is in fact the very opposite of that. And if you haven't really turned the lights on in your own mind around how self-criticism doesn't work, then I'm hoping that today's episode is really going to challenge you in that space. So what happens when we do self-acceptance, when the manner of our thinking is much more in a self-accepting direction? Well, we activate the prefrontal cortex part of our brain, which is responsible for problem solving, for emotion regulation.
And as you can imagine, you need those skills if you're going to be making change. It's also the part of your brain that helps you reflect and make intentional choices, which again are things that you need if you're going to create change. Also, we know that if we speak to ourselves in a kind and accepting manner, we get the benefits of oxytocin and activation of the bonding parts of our brain.
The parts of our brain that are responsible for making connections with other people and feeling safe. So there's one option here where you can criticize yourself into change from a perspective where you feel in danger and under threat. And there is another option where if you speak to yourself in ways that accept yourself, that gently encourage yourself towards change, you get the benefit of parts of your brain firing up that are really good in the interests of making change, as well as some really good happy hormones and chemicals flooding your brain that allow you to feel safe while you are making change.
Now, the real snag to this is that for most of us, we've spent many years doing change from this punish ourselves into change perspective, which is where our brains learn that actually if we're feeling under threat, we're on track towards making change because that's when our change behaviors happen. So there is a bit of rewiring that's required if we're going to learn to go easier on ourselves, to speak to ourselves in a different manner, because what you might have learned is that change only happens when you feel that on edge, in danger responsiveness, that the threat of self-criticism has led your brain to experiencing. What we're trying to do here is teach your brain that change is achievable with a really nice feeling along the way.
You do not have to feel bad in the process of making the changes that you're wanting to make in life. It is actually possible to achieve better change with this much kinder and nicer way of speaking to yourself. So what that might look like is instead of saying, I've messed up.
What's wrong with me? I need to do better. We're going, hmm, that was hard. That didn't go so well.
What do I need to do now? So it's not avoiding making the behavioral changes that you want to make. It is just approaching them from a vastly different perspective. And that really matters in terms of what happens in your brain and what's available to you in that process of making changes.
So now what I want to do is offer some tools and strategies if you're a person who's stuck in this cycle of self-critical thinking and trying to punish and shame yourself on the way to change. I'm going to offer you here some ideas and some things to challenge your thinking if this is a loop that you get stuck in. So the first thing that you want to do is name what is going on.
So spot that self-critical thinking when it emerges. And that might be naming it as something, like that is old Tim or Karen or whoever it is. Personifying it in some way can sometimes be really helpful.
But noticing it and going, this is what is going on. This is that self-critical voice coming out again. This is what is happening here.
I'm seeing this for what it is. So naming it, naming what is going on. This is the harsh critic voice.
And this isn't what I want more of. And then you want to normalize that. Now it's really not ideal with our brains if we go, oh, this thinking is bad.
I want to stop it. I don't want to do this. We don't want to get into a panic about trying to stop our brains from dishing us certain thoughts.
But what we want to be able to do is notice the thoughts that we are having. And then gain some control over what our response is and what thinking we do from that point onwards. So part of this is actually normalizing what's going on.
It is, in fact, really normal, of course, to have self-critical thoughts. This is something that has been important in how we've evolved as a species. That we're constantly reflecting on where we are in our social circles.
We're constantly looking at ourselves and evaluating the threats around us. So it is really normal to have those self-critical thoughts emerging. So definitely normalize it.
This is really hard. This is something that is common in the human experience. It's okay that this is coming up for me.
And then we want to redirect. And a question that I love to ask here is, what is my kind next step? So in that way, we're orientating ourselves towards taking action. We're not getting stuck in our thinking.
We're trying to have that moment where we go, this is what I'm going to do next. What is a kind action that I can take from this point? Rather than getting stuck in this self-critical loop. So you're going to name, you're going to normalize, and you're going to redirect.
They are three really key skills to have when it comes to turning down that self-critical thinking and doing something differently when it emerges. Now a great question that you can ask if you do lots of self-critical thinking is think about, what would I say to a child or a friend in this situation? So it's not about avoiding the fact that there may well be things that you're wanting to change or do differently. So sometimes we need to have honest conversations with friends or with kids about whatever it is that is going on in their lives.
But what's the kind version of that conversation? How would you have that conversation in a kind and loving way with a child or someone who was your friend? I saw a really great question pop up recently that asked, what would you do if you were in charge of looking after somebody else's body for a year and then handing it back to them at the end of the year? What would you do in terms of how you took care of them? If you borrow someone's car or if you stay at their house, the chances are you leave it in a tidy condition. You try and even leave things better than how you found them. And that is really important when we think about changes in our lives.
What do we need to do differently when it comes to how we speak to ourselves so that that lines up with how we would speak to someone we actually really cared about? Because I hope that you actually really care about yourself too. Now another really important thing that you can do is consider the place of your values when it comes to motivating yourself towards making some changes. So if our values are connected to change and if we have those values really switched on, it is much easier to change our behavior because it is connected back with our values, with the things that are most important to us.
So for example, if we're thinking about wanting to be an authentic person or wanting to be honest or having integrity, then that is going to lead us to conducting ourselves in a particular way in our relationships. And if you're wanting to make some changes in your relationship, then you're motivated to do that from the perspective of your values. It's not behavior change for the sake of behavior change.
It is behavior change that matters to you, that is deeply connected with your values and those things you have decided are important to you. Where our behavior change is connected back with our values, it is really much more likely that those changes are going to stick. Now sometimes what I find for people is they actually need there to be a bit of work around those values in the first place.
So what are the values that connect with this thing that you are trying to change in your life? Sometimes it is a really good thing to sit down with a piece of paper and do some planning around. I'm a big fan of asking yourself a question, putting it at the top of the page and then brainstorming your answers and your responses to yourself. So when it comes to this change that I'm wanting to make, what values do I have that connect with that? Sometimes that mental task does take a bit of reflective energy but it is absolutely time that is well spent.
So if there is something that you are trying to change this year, something that you are trying to make some lasting changes around, spend that time working out what values do you have that connect with this change. Not, I'm doing this because I'm bad, I'm not good enough, I'm too much of this, I'm not enough of that. I'm doing this because this is life-giving to me and this is building me a life that is coherent and fits with my values and who I want to be in the world.
Now a big question that is really important to ask if you're someone who does a lot of self-criticism is, what am I afraid would happen if I'm kinder to myself? What are you worried about here? Is it that you're worried that you're going to be rejected or you're going to fail or you're going to disappoint other people? Sometimes that self-criticism is driving us away from feelings that we're trying to avoid and if you haven't listened yet to my episode on unbearable feelings, it is absolutely fundamental to how I view people, their emotional issues and the process of change. But if you're trying to avoid a particular feeling and criticize yourself into new ways of being and doing things in a different way, then that is really going to unravel you very quickly. So if you think about what's at risk here, what is it that I'm afraid will happen if I'm kinder to myself in this process, then it can reveal to you what it is that you're trying to run from because I'm telling you in this episode that you do really want to be kinder to yourself if you're wanting to make lasting changes.
So why would you not do that? What are the reasons against being kinder to yourself and speaking to yourself in an accepting manner? What are you trying to protect yourself from here? What are you on the run from? If this is a pattern that has been lifelong for you, something that you've struggled with and even something that's annoying you, where the logical part of you is going, I just know that beating up on myself like this is not working, I don't like it, I don't enjoy this but I can't understand why I'm doing it, then asking this question about what am I afraid of, what am I afraid will happen if I'm kind and gentle with myself, that can be really revealing and can help unlock this process of moving into a more self-accepting way of speaking to yourself. The other thing that you can think of is what is the kind but accurate story? So we're not wanting to be Pollyannas. Now, I don't know if you're old enough to remember the movie Pollyanna but back in my day it was this little girl who transformed a town by her positive thinking.
She just went around with all this positivity and thinking about all the good things and playing this thing that she called the glad game. Now by today's standards around growth mindset and positive thinking, Pollyanna is sounding pretty good right now. But what we're not trying to do here is just slap on a whole lot of positive thinking.
You're doing great. You're awesome. You're nailing it because what if you're not? You do sometimes need to be able to speak to yourself in a way that is honest and accurate, accurately telling the story about what is going on but also kind.
So if you're thinking about something that was happening with a child, for example, you would tell the facts about what was happening, what they did wrong but you would try and do that in a way that had a kind tone to it. So yep, they did this but they did that because of these things that were going on. And actually they were having a really hard day.
And so tomorrow the focus instead is this. What is the kind but accurate story that you can tell? We're not trying to just pump ourselves up and fill ourselves with positive but inaccurate thinking. It is important to be able to talk to ourselves honestly, to reflect honestly, but to do that in a kind way.
So what's the kind but accurate story you can tell? If you're in a place at the moment where you're thinking about change and there are some changes that you're wanting to make but you're finding those things quite hard, then I do have an episode that I'll link in the show notes that is all about the process of change. So if you're needing to deep dive there, please feel free to go and listen to that episode. But the key component today that I've talked about is the importance of speaking to yourself in a kind and accepting way.
Accepting yourself just as you are is the best chance that you have to move yourself towards the changes that you want to make. Being self-critical is a great way to unlock your threat responses and to shut down your brain. And if you're wanting lasting change, you need to learn this skill around speaking to yourself in an accepting manner.
Name what's happening, normalise it, reflect differently about your next steps and ask yourself what is the kind but accurate story that you could tell that still helps you move towards the changes that you're wanting to make. If you've got goals and ambitions this year, things that you're wanting to change, you might be interested in change therapy which is my new way of working one-on-one with people. I'm no longer offering traditional counselling sessions but change therapy is a really powerful way to bring together the very best of my counselling skills and expertise, that analytical reflective part of how I've been trained within a coaching model where we look at support and accountability for you to make the changes that you're wanting to make.
Now a lot of people that I've worked with so far in change therapy have needed someone external who can balance the times where they need to be pushed a little and the times when they need to be really compassionate with themselves. And learning to have that voice and balance is a skill that sometimes you need a little bit of external support with. So if you're interested in change therapy and you want me to be your biggest cheerleader and teach you how to approach change from a really positive perspective, then I'd love to work with you.
I'm no longer working with clients as a traditional counsellor, this is my model of work going forward if people want to work with me one-to-one. So if you're interested in that, you can find a bit more about that on my website, charlottecummings.nz. If you've got changes that you're wanting to make in your life right now, I send all my love to you. Just remember that you can do this in a loving and kind way.
Thanks for joining me today on the Feel Better Podcast. I'm super proud of you for spending this time prioritising your well-being and hopefully learning a few things to help you navigate the tough stuff in life. I'd love to stay connected, so come and find me on Instagram at charlottethecounsellor, on Facebook, charlottecummingscounselling or head over to my website charlottecummings.nz where there's heaps of free resources waiting for you.
Thanks for hanging out with me today and I look forward to seeing you next time.
